Monday, January 23, 2012

Would you please correct my gammatical errors in this?

Hello. I'm recently interested in writing essays in English. At first, I started writing it just as a short diary, but somehow It's become the style of essay before I knew:-) And thanks to all answers on Yahoo!answers, I was able to fix my errors and improve my English. I know there's still long way to go, but I think i should express how much i feel grateful to all of you. Thank you so much.



Here I bring you a new essay(or diary?)to you. I tried my best and It took me 5hours to finish this.

So would you please fix any grammatical error in this essay? changing my words with more appropriate vocabulary is welcomed! Here we go.....

--------------------------------------鈥?br>
Title:What we really need these nowadays is...an adventure!



Body: What do you think it is that people who live nowadays lack the most? Sociality? Positiveness? A sense of economy ,perhaps? Well, I guess I can name lots of qualities, but if I have to make a choice among them, I think 'a spirit to go on an an adventure' would be my choice.



When I was still a kid, Everywhere except for my my home was the terrific stage of my little adventures. Every time I climbed a jungle jim in the playground, I felt as if I became a king who slayed all bad demons and earned sincere respect from his people.(At that time, all ants that lived under the jungle jim in the sands were my people.) Climbing up a horizontal bar and dangling upside down from it with my legs on it made me feel kinda dizzy, but watching how things were moving in the pose, I could understand how the aliens felt who lived in a totally upside-down world.( Unfortunately, movie directors have never made the movie which shows that kind of alien so far. Even Batman walks upright, you know...) And I believed If I drank a bottle of red beverage(strawberry juice or shake), I'd be able to recover my original power enough to defeat Zappa, who made his appearance as a villain in the old PC game named 'The Prince Of Persia'(but I couldn't find Zappa in my childhood anyway.)



It is true that I've forgotten lots of my little adventures as I get order.However, I still wanna travel the whole world and find a new world. ...Wait a sec! Hmm...the new adventures may not be that far away from me, but they may be lying us! Maybe my closet which is in my room could be the gate of the kingdom of Nardia. If I continue walking down through a sewer, I might be able to meet Super Mario!(or Ninja turtles) Even now we're living in the information age, there's still lots of mysteries unsolved. Wow! I feel my heart is pounding vigorously just by thinking of it.Every time I imagine being the main character of my adventure, I think that life is full of enjoyment and new discoveries.

This thought makes me the happiest person in the world even when I already know there's no way my adventure would come true.



Well, going back to today's topic, why do you think animations such as 'My Neighbor Totoro' and 'Spirited Away' could win so much popularity with people?(If I explain more about both animations for those who don't know know, both animations have story lines that main character's everyday life turns into a mysterious,dangerous, yet new,fascinating world all of sudden.) How can you explain that indiana jones is loved by so many people? What about 'Alice In Wonderland?

If you still like all of these adventures, It means there's still 'young yourself' within you who can still bring 'old yourself' the enjoyment of adventures. Sadly however, It seems to me that some people living nowadays tend to forget having their wonderful adventures, or rather want to forget about them while considering them as their 'shameful days'. Some people even say there's no need to go on an adventure because the whole world has already been discovered by the most advanced exploration technology.



To a certain degree, they might be right. But I think If we don't even dream of our own little adventures, we are as good as machines which can do only the same thing in the same place every day. For us who's living in the present society, I believe seeking a new adventure around us is the very thing we need!

--------------------------------------鈥?br>
Phew!



This time I tried to write something a little abstract, but I think I failed to express what I really want to. Anyway, I beg of your kindness! Thank you for reading this and have a nice day.Would you please correct my gammatical errors in this?
Phew indeed. Why did I suspect when I clicked on this question that it would be long?



Sorry, you're asking way too much of the "kindness of strangers." Get together with a fellow writer and agree to proofread each other's compositions.Would you please correct my gammatical errors in this?
I forgot choosing your answer to be the best answer. I'm so sorry. Well, as for my essay, I gotta admit that I asked too much, but the thing is that there's nobody I can call 'fellow writers' around me So that there's no way I can proofread this all by myself( It wasn't homework,after all.)Thank you

Report Abuse

No comments:

Post a Comment